9.10.06

Once again, England fails to impress

Nick Webster / Fox Soccer Channel

Oh dear! As much as things promise to change, inevitably they're destined to remain the same — and never was this statement more true than when describing the England football team.

Quite frankly, I've given up hope of ever seeing England winning anything and for once it feels sort of comforting after 40 years of agony. Somehow having an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach is far better than a mass of anguished, complicated knots that usually accompanies watching my national team. I suppose it's a bit like being a Newcastle United fan in that we're considered a big club with the greatest support except for the most important thing...we're incapable of winning anything.

On Saturday at Old Trafford, the venue for England's third qualifying match for Euro 2008, I was already setting myself up for a tired limp performance even before the first whistle blew and I wasn't disappointed.

New boss Steve McClaren showed himself to be no better than his predecessor Sven-Goran Eriksson. By picking a horribly out-of-form Wayne Rooney and an internationally limited Stewart Downing against Macedonia, McClaren demonstrated a lack of man-management that epitomized his stay as the bumbling gaffer of mid- to lower-table Middlesbrough — and to think that I briefly thought that he could effect a revolution/evolution in the national team!

All credit to Macedonia though as they showed that their previous three results in Euro qualifying against England (two tight losses and a draw) were no flukes. Macedonian coach Srecko Katanec set up his team quite beautifully and in all fairness they can count themselves unlucky not to have nicked all three points. They looked dangerous, as they are able to break with quick, incisive passes while defending with discipline and organization.

I've always wondered why eastern European teams counter-attack better than English teams and after watching Katanec's charges it's obvious why — they know how to move the ball to one another while demonstrating technique playing at speed...what a concept!

Let's return to England though and examine where I believe McClaren and his team have gone wrong.

The backline can't be criticized having not conceded a goal, however, they did seem slightly vulnerable to Macedonian players who ran at them — they can expect the same from Croatia on Wednesday. Ashley Cole looks far from his best as he continues to suffer post-Arsenal depression and Paul Robinson, who collected his fifth consecutive clean sheet, just doesn't fill me with confidence. But at the end of the day, England is always difficult to beat thanks to their defensive grit and enthusiasm.

The midfield was a different story altogether.

Who would've thought we'd be lamenting the absence of Owen Hargreaves from an England team six months ago? The hole left by the Bayern Munich holding maestro was immense. Michael Carrick just doesn't supply the same energy levels as Hargreaves and I believe Scott Parker would've been a far better choice. The Newcastle man has been in inspired form and provides a better goal-scoring threat.

As for width we had to rely on Downing on the left and Steven Gerrard on the right. Downing though gifted is far short of international quality at the moment and seems to be benefiting solely from being McClaren's pet. Gerrard on the other hand has no excuses. His passing was slack and instead of offering width he kept coming inside and blocking off options. Other than nearly winning the match with a classic 25-yarder, I thought he was pants, much like Frank Lampard. The man is too slow when you compare him to the attacking midfielders of other countries. I can't help but think of a big bus when he receives the ball facing his own goal — beep, beep, beep is the sound coming out of his shorts as he slowly turns his body in the required direction.

I think maybe it's time to let Lampard have a nice rest on the pine and regain his desire to play and boss for England.

Up front, Peter Crouch was his usual self, missing chances that 'real' quality strikers bury. But of course the big concern was Wayne Rooney. The boy is so short of form at the moment it's embarrassing and he knows it. His touch is non-existent and his body language is extremely negative. Hopefully he'll come good and break out of this slump but not on this stage. We should think about letting him come off the bench to add spark, thereby taking some of the pressure of his shoulders.

Simply put, McClaren must pick the in-form striker and that is Darren Bent, not Jermain Defoe who is having his own confidence crisis at Spurs.

McClaren has always stated that he would pick sides based on form, not reputations. It's time to start living up to those words or accept the wrath of the English public. Thankfully, with my newfound center of peace and enlightenment, Wednesday against Croatia will be more enjoyable for me than the fans back home in Blighty...yeah right!

Until then, get the beers in...

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